So, as I sit here and reflect on my year I can’t help but to thank God. Here’s why:
I was trying to think of at least one thing I have accomplished in these past 365 1/4 days that just made me really proud. Everything that I named or thought of just didn’t do it for me. I’ve stated a few of the below.
– I completed a bachelors degree…barely. It wasn’t conferred until December because one class tried to stop me from being great! To say the least, I was ashamed and disappointed.
– That one class threw me off so I never applied for nursing school…….AGAIN! You know, I have yet to apply to nursing school. I have been saying that I’ve wanted to be a nurse since my junior year in high school. I have everything lined up and ready. What is seriously holding me back?!!
– Along the same track, I am not the best at standardized tests so this entrance exam for nursing is kicking my butt. As a result, I figured out that I couldn’t do it on my own. I finally sat down and got some real and consistent help, but Jesus take the wheel (And the test for me if you can)! Though I didn’t get where I needed to be, I did end up improving!
– For me and my sisters, this year will make a full year of consistently paying bills, keeping food in the fridge and not burning the house down. All of this without seriously asking for help from my mother. Don’t judge us. I know we’re grown!
– I started a blog! Yes, on the surface this seems great, but I’m starting to feel like only my family reads it. I think this might just be turning into a public diary.lol. It’s good because I’m not a great writer so I’m stepping out of comfort zone, but honestly, where is this going?
– I was involved in one of the worst relationships I have ever been in during my 22 years of living. As a result, I was able to rekindle a relationship with one of the best ever! Ended up Making up with someone who makes me feel whole in all of my brokenness. Also made up with my sista friends. Had a much needed re-revaluation of friendship.
– I took up yoga to combat my stress from school. Actually I took it to fulfill my last elective credit, but it ended up being one of the best things to happen to me all summer!
– I decided to stop thinking about how broke I would be if I traveled here or there. Now, I didn’t go clear across the country and come back thinking that my hopes and dreams would pay the water bill. No. I like showers and clean dishes, I just learned to manage my money a little better so that I could actually live.
Out of ALL of these things that would seem like major and/or minor accomplishments for others, I just didn’t feel like these things constituted a great year for me. Every good thing either came with something bad or a price tag (something I couldn’t afford). Then I had to stop my thinking and turn it into thanking. I realized that I was criticizing everything that God had for me. I came to the conclusion that If I were to be proud of just one thing this year it would be ME. Me as a whole.
I was stuck on all of the negative things that happened that I failed to see that God brought me through them all. I am still here because of his grace. Bills are paid because he is faithful. Relationships die or survive because he knows what’s best for me. I am not where I want to be, but where he wants me to be because his timing is perfect. Today, I am not the same Muff I was on January 1, 2015 and I am thankful for that. God decided to keep me and that is something to be proud of in itself!
So, as I encourage you to do, I will take the good with the bad. Though this may have been a trial filled 365 1/4 days (down to the quarter) for you, you should reflect on the fact that you’re still here to reflect. Not everyone will make it into 2016 so be proud of yourself. Just remember, there is greater coming for you in 2016! Unless you cheated. Then there is just bad karma for you. If that applies to you, God bless you and good luck.
Anyways, I hope that everyone has a very safe and very fun New Year! Get ready for chapter 1 of 365! Make the rest of 2015 count while you can 🙂
*always remember to trust the process!