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trust the process

#IWillNoLonger.

So, for me November is ALWAYS quite a month. It just feels as if there is always something new that happens that makes this month the hardest to get through. This November is a little different though, still too much going on, but it’s a little more than normal.

The situations that have transpired resulted in a much needed conversation with myself about what changes I would make because i’ve just about hit thee fan. And i’m only 5’3″ so you know that means i’m way past my limit.

So, as of today, November 25th, 2016, I made a declaration with myself that I would no longer do some things.

  1. I will no longer invest my time in broken relationships. There comes a point in a persons life when enough is enough and trying to heal a relationship drains you, especially if it’s a one-sided effort. Honestly, truly, i’m over it.
  2. I will no longer coddle people and their feelings. I am 23 years old and I do not have the time to sit and try to rearrange my thoughts to make you feel comfortable with a simple conversation or situation. No. Grow up and increase the level of your maturity. I’m over it.
  3. I will no longer make excuses for grown people. I will start calling a spade a spade. Das it. I’m over it. Next…
  4. I will no longer compromise the relationship I have with myself to exert more energy into another relationship. I think this statement pretty much speaks for itself. Ultimately, if you do not have a good and solid relationship with yourself how in the world do you expect that to happen with someone else? Sometimes I have to remember to take care of myself first and be a little selfish about it.
  5. I will no longer let anyone disturb my peace. My prayer focus lately has been on peace. Since I have been so focused on peace I believe that God put me in the middle of a situation that would cause my peace to be tried. It worked. I now know how unsettling it feels and I can’t/won’t be subjected to it anymore. Disturbed peace can cause you to grab your piece…we don’t need these problems. I’m over it.
  6. I will no longer be bothered by passive aggressiveness. Completely over it.
  7. I will no longer keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. You know, some people deserve to be let in on where I am and what i’m thinking. At some point I realized that I had to stop letting my past dictate how I handle certain situations. Now this doesn’t mean that everybody gets a key to my box of thoughts, but some people have earned it.
  8. I will no longer allow situations cause me to contemplate adjusting my level of love. Adjusting the level of the relationship, yes, but love, no. After really thinking about some things I had to immediately check my heart because I could feel it changing. I never want a situation to dictate the condition of my heart so I always try to love with the love of God. Loving with the love of God can get you through the most trivial of situations.
  9. I will no longer hold on. I will no longer hold on to people, situations, relationships, words, etc. that God is clearly telling me to let go of. Holding on breeds unhealthy situations and I already eat too many ice cream sandwiches…since we’re on the subject of being unhealthy.
  10. I will no longer hold back an “I love you”. This one might be a little hard because there is always the element of hurt lurking around when you love. Loving freely isn’t such an easy task (for me), but missing the opportunity to tell someone that you love them might bring about a different type of hurt. Though I do believe that love is an action word I still think that verbalizing it for someone (friends, family, lovers, etc.) has sort of an comforting affect.

 

At the end of the day I guess you can say that i’m starting my “new year, new me” just a few days early. lol. Some of these notions are great changes for me that will cause me to be quite uncomfortable, but I’m ready for it because I have been comfortable with mediocrity for far too long now.

It’s never too late to state your #Iwillnolonger for the 2k16!

I’m still learning how to trust the process…

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My mama is a Gem.

Gen the gem is what I am going to start calling her because she is L I T! Don’t argue with me on this!


Full Definition of gem

  1. 1a:jewel

  2. b:  a precious or sometimes semiprecious stone cut and polished for ornament

  3. 2a:  something prized especially for great beauty or perfection

  4. b:  a highly prized or well-beloved person

(courtesy of Merriam-Webster)


It has taken me a full 23 1/2 years to realize how much of a precious jewel/highly prized or well-beloved person she is. Such a shame it should be a crime that it took me this long to fully come to this conclusion.

I came to this realization Sunday night when I spent 1 hr. 10 min. and 1 sec. on the phone with her just talking. Now, if you really know me you know that a lengthy phone call with me is 10 minutes…MAX. I tend to make phone calls when the matter is urgent or when the text I sent was politely ignored. When I do get on the phone, I say what I have to say then make my famous  exit by saying “alright, well i’ll talk to you later. love ya. k bye.” With all of that being said, you can see why it was extremely out of the ordinary for me to be on the phone for an hour+.

But after the call I realized a few things:

  1. My mama knows me better than anyone else. I was FOR SURE that only God knew who I really was and everybody else just acted like they did. But my mama told me somethings about myself that I hadn’t thought about before (or I thought about them but didn’t want to believe them). It made me realize that just because she STILL doesn’t know that my favorite dipping sauce is honey mustard (not Polynesian or BBQ, the two she ALWAYS gets) doesn’t mean that she doesn’t know me.
  2. She has some great advice. It’s usually “just take it to God/Pray about it, My Muff!”, but that is just her way of preparing me to take on life like a real adult because she won’t always be readily available to help me. Learned that pretty quickly after she got married and left me and my sisters for dead! lol. Okay thats not the truth, but she has gone through enough “life” to give a pretty good piece of advice.
  3. She’s the best petty partner. Since she turned 50 she developed what I like to call her “petty laugh”. When she does this laugh she has either done or said something petty and know that she’s wrong for it! Everyone thinks that she is so serious all the time, but she has a goofy side that she saves for petty people. She’s pretty much #PettyGoalz.
  4. She’ll always remind me that God loves me and that she is praying for me. Whenever I do something that is potentially avoidable she will hold back her words of “encouragement”. She starts by getting everything off of her chest and then follows up with a text message containing a scripture and a “God loves you.” Thnx, Mom. lol.  Aside from that, her everyday texts saying “Hello my Muff! I love you and I am praying for you!” let me know that i’m not alone in this walk!
  5. She’s the real MVP. Like the “get some information you need from your ex because you’re not tryna contact them” type of MVP. Everybody needs this type of person on their team!

 

She’s much much more than just these few things that were mentioned: a creator, Jesus lover, singer, demon fighter (not physical), no limit soldier, etc. But i’ll leave those for another day.

Anyways, if you got a mama or an auntie (s/o to my auntie) or a stepmama or a granny go ahead and shout them out! Tell ’em to twerk summ today just because! Don’t wait until it’s too late to appreciate your Gem!

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As always, remember to trust the process!

 

Metamorphosis.

Metamorphosis

noun meta·mor·pho·sis \ˌme-tə-ˈmȯr-fə-səs\

Simple Definition of metamorphosis

  • : a major change in the appearance or character of someone or something

  • biology : a major change in the form or structure of some animals or insects that happens as the animal or insect becomes an adult

 

Examples of metamorphosis in a sentence

  1. We have watched her metamorphosis from a shy schoolgirl into a self-confident businesswoman.

  2. a company that has gone through a series of metamorphoses

  3. The government has undergone political metamorphosis since his election.

  4. the metamorphosis of tadpoles into frogs

  5. The class learned about how caterpillars undergo metamorphosis to become butterflies.

 

(Definition and examples curtesy of Merriam-Webster.com)


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So, a friend of mine sent this to me in one of my group messages because it was the perfect answer to a certain conversation that we just had. She sent it about a month ago and since then I’ve been feeling myself go through some sort of a change. Now, I cannot pinpoint when or why the change started, but I do know that I feel one.

Here are a few things that I noticed throughout the process:

  • Gucci got out ANDDDD released an album and I wasn’t super hype about it. Now if you know me you know that i’m low-key a lil bit hood so this was surprising even to me! I used to live on Gucci, Webbie, Boosie, and Plies. smh
  • I have been listening to India.Arie for the past few weeks. Like, whole albums of hers. I’m not sure what thats about at all, but it’s happening. Maybe i’m mellowing out (not like i’ve ever been exciting) and becoming a flower child…? lol.
  • I had to withdraw from a major class in my first semester of nursing school to avoid failing it…and I was open about telling people. Not people like my mama and sisters, but like strangers a.k.a. anybody other than them. This was very interesting because i’m not one who goes around announcing my failures for the simple reason that…I mean…they’re failures. No one wants to seem like a failure, but I think talking about it to others helped me accept it.
  • I started going deeper in God. This started because nursing school is NO JOKE. I thought that I had God, but what I was working with was NOT enough. I managed to make it through my first semester with what I had, but once my break from school rolled around I actually had time to think about something other than tests, clinicals and stress, I knew I needed a change. Setting aside time for quiet morning devotion just between God and I has been my thing recently. I always woke up and started my day off with prayer, but as the quote says “every next level of you life will demand a different you” so I knew that I needed to be different. Really letting God lead me has been the greatest change yet.
  • Burning bridges is something that I HATE doing, but I have learned that letting go of broken relationships is extremely necessary. Letting go of relationships is not the change that I have had, but having peace with the decision is a new feature for me. I usually go back overthink everything so that i’m left with an unsettling feeling. This process has changed. Drastically.

 

I’m sure that more changes have occurred, but these are the ones that really stuck out to me. After really reassessing myself, the only word that kept coming up in my mind was metamorphosis. As you see in the definition above, the word is described as a major change in appearance or character. The biological definition defines it as a change in an insect as it becomes an adult. As I read the definition for the word I found that it explained my current situation perfectly because my character is changing as I become an adult. I am going through a new and different phase in my life and it warrants a new and different me. Really, I feel like i’m going through an adult phase of puberty. Does this happen to all twenny-summs (twenty-somethings, for those who are confused) or am I out here all alone?

I would just like to know how long this is going to last and what other changes I have to look forward to. I’d like to think that all of this will work out in my favor because of Romans 8:28…

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But God never ceases to amaze me!

As always, I will trust the process…

WHO, WHO DA YA LUVV?!!

Or should I say who loves me?!

Ever since February 26th, 2016 I have been receiving the most overwhelming amount of love, encouragement, and  support! In reality, this has been happening since birth, but I am focusing on the past couple of months for now.

If you haven’t heard by now, I got into nursing school! Woot woot! Even before I got this amazing news my support system was constantly reminding me of how proud they were of me. I didn’t think anything that I was doing was amazing because I wasn’t where IIIII wanted to be in life. I felt like I was just going through the motions of what any 22/23 year old should go through.

Go to college. Graduate in 4 years. Get a job. Pay bills. Congratulations, you’re a real adult now. 

I had done just that, but still didn’t feel satisfied. So I continued to pursue my dream of becoming a Registered Nurse, but the road blocks I encountered sure made giving up look as sweet as candy! At the end of the day giving up was NOT an option because: A) my mama wouldn’t have let that fly B) I have too many people rooting for me and telling them that I just gave up would not have been a sufficient excuse C) I can’t be a teacher and I can’t work a desk job all my life.

As I entered the new year I decided that 2016 would be “My year of the win” and it has been JUST that! My news of getting into nursing school couldn’t have come at a more perfect time! I received the news on the weekend that my mother was having her 50th birthday party so all of my #1 supporters would be in the same location. My mother, my auntie (Cha Cha), Cousin Carla, and KayRay are the ladies who are on every scene to support and to show love in every way! I honestly learned how to love, give, laugh and be selfless (still working on that one. lol) from these incredible women. I know that they will always have my back without a shadow of a doubt.
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Aside from them, I have so many others that I feel are a lot more excited about this endeavor than I am. lol. Not that I am not excited, I just think that they see my potential far beyond what I see.

  • My big sister Cammy literally started tearing up when I told her. I thought it might have just been the pregnancy hormones, but within that week I received a card with the most incredible “proud big sister” note ever! I hung it up by my door so i’m reminded of who has my back every time I walk in my door!
  • My sister #4 is more excited than I am. lol. Every time I see her she tells me that she is excited or already reminds me that I need to get on the ball. She was one of the first people that I told and literally every week since Feb. 26th I have received a text about a tip or, more importantly, a scholarship opportunity. So if I cry broke it’s my own fault because Brittany is ON IT! #NurseBrittForPresident2016
  • Lastly, my siblings. Terra has always taken care of me like she birthed me, but now she has her BF in on it too. They have already come through with the clutch with stuff I need for school! Amber encourages me by coming home and telling the things that happen in her classroom. She doesn’t tell them so I won’t want to be a teacher, but that’s how I take it! They just solidify my career choice and encourage me to do everything I have to so I don’t have to resort to teaching. lol.

Of course these are not the only people who support me, but I literally cannot name everyone because it is so many! My friends, family, cousins, co-workers, etc. keep me grounded and SO humble. Absolutely nothing goes unnoticed or unappreciated.

I just want to give a big THANK YOUUUUUUU to everyone who encourages, loves, supports and believes in me! You the real MVP!

If you have time, which you always should, make a list of the people who always have your back and keep it on you at all times. Keep it on you to remind you of who you do it for and also to help remind yourself to check in with them from time to time. I “check in” by sending goodies like cookies and cakes because I loveeeee to bake and who doesn’t like cake?! Just make sure you’re sending out as much love as you receive!

Remember, God is love. He puts people in our lives for a specific purpose.

Don’t be so great that you cant be grateful, hot that you can’t be humble, lit that you can’t be loving, or so successful that you cant be supportive/selfless.

So, who do ya luv and who loves you?!

-Muffy

*Always remember to trust the process…

 

 

Week 2: Rum cake and creamy caramel pecan rolls 

This week I decided to make two different desserts. One I have made numerous times before (the rolls) and the other was my first time making it (rum cake), from scratch at least. 

The first thing that I made was the Rum Cake, but from scratch. I have made one before but it was a box mix with the homemade rum sauce. This cake was going smoothly up until I had to whip the egg whites…yikes. I have only done this MAYBE once before and I’m sure it went much like it did this time. The recipe suggested using a standing mixer, but I don’t have one (my birthday is march 1st so feel free to send me a nice kitchen aid mixer. I take refurbished items 😉). Since I don’t have this mixer I just used my hand mixer and I felt like I was mixing foreverrrrrrrr! The whites NEVER peaked up and it was oh so very disappointing. I eventually had to redo the whole process because I didn’t want to ruin the whole cake before I even put it in the oven. Thankfully, the second time went well and the cake ended up turning out pretty good. 

Here is the link to the original recipe:

Rum Cake (From Scratch!)

Here are a few pictures:
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The second thing that I made was caramel cinnamon rolls with pecans. This has been a hit since the very first time that I made them. Now, I did not make the dough from scratch, but I do plan on tying it at some point. I am definitely afraid to make doughs and crusts because you have to have some sort of perfection. I forgot to take a picture of all of the ingredients that I used to make this so please forgive me! I did capture most of the steps I did!

Here is the original link:
http://www.bhg.com/recipe/yeast-breads/creamy-caramel-pecan-rolls/?socsrc=bhgpin042312creamycaramelpecanrolls

Here are the pictures that I have:
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– Muffy

*remember to Trust the process

Week 1: Bourbon buttermilk pie! 

So, this year I decided that I would hone in on my baking skills in hopes that I would become the modern day version of the mother in the church who makes the best desserts in the whole city.

I am going to start baking every two weeks and I “officially” started this weekend by making a bourbon buttermilk pie. After making a red velvet cake a few weeks ago I needed to find something to make so that I could use the leftover buttermilk. I searched Pinterest (my google for baking) to find something that I could replicate and that is when I found the pie. I had never heard of it before, but it sounded so simple and there were so many versions of it! Of course I picked the one that had liquor in it because…I mean…it was bourbon.

*Here is the link to the original recipe: http://www.wellplated.com/bourbon-buttermilk-pie/ *

I took a few pictures of the process:

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Turns out that my mom has had this pie before and guess who made them…THE MOTHERS IN THE CHURCH 😂😂😂😂. I legit might be turning into the dessert mother of the church. Except I just share whatever I make with my family, not the community.

Verdict: it was excellent and I am really trying to get up and workout instead of getting up and eating the last two pieces.

 

Until the next time…

-Muffy

 

*always remember to trust the process.

My Amazing Twist Out!

People often ask me how I achieve my twist outs and/or what products I use. I literally never know what to say to them besides use coconut oil! We all know that coconut oil could cure the common cold, nourish your dry skin and be used for cooking all at the same time. lol.

*confession time: Honestly…I use whatever is under the sink (which is A LOT) and I tend to forget what I mixed to get my style*

So, for 2k16 I will make a vow to document the products I used so that I will know what to tell people! lol. I have already done so for my first two twists outs of this year (I know, we’re only 3 weeks in. I had a New Year hairstyle fail) that I will talk about today!

My first one was a result of a #FAILED bantu knot out. I thought about sharing the pictures, but I was playing in make-up right before attempting to take my hair down sooooo…imma say no. *I adjusted the pictures so I could share them. Seeing my hair a mess is enough….my face was not worth the further humiliation. lol*

HOW, SWAY?! How? How? How? The knots were PERFECT!

As an attempt to look presentable on the first day of the year, I did my go-to twist out. For the knot  out I used Miss Jessie’s Curly Pudding and Olive Oils twist and lock gel to hold it. Since I just *styled* my hair all I needed to do was re-wet and twist it up! I only took a few pictures (very odd because i’m selfie queen) and have added them below:

I did these twists at my normal size which is small enough to untwist them and look like the above picture. Unfortunately I did not take any other photos with this style. It was probably because I did a middle part and realized that one side of my hair was longer than the other. Side parts for 2k16!

For the next twist out I used the following products:

-Miss Jessie’s Baby Buttercreme as a base

-EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) to seal

-Eden’s Curl Defining Creme for the styler

-Aunt Jackie’s Don’t Shrink curl elongating gel to hold

I tried to do chunky twists with these products, but they just ended up being medium sized twists. smh. lol. I didn’t get a picture of the actual twists, but I did capture my hair everyday.

Day 1:

I simply untwisted my hair once.

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As soon as I got home from church I re-twisted my hair so you can see about how big the original twists were. Not big at all. lol.

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Day 2:

This is freshly un-twisted in the morning. I separated my hair this day.
  
  

This is a few hours into the day.


Day 3:

Day 4:

Day 5:

By this time my hair is usually really frizzy with little to no definition, but this time I tried re-twisting my hair almost every night. I didn’t re-twist it for this day or the next and you can tell by my roots. lol

Day 6:

Again, I did not re-twist the night before and that caused my hair to be kind of dry. I ended up having to re-hydrate it with water which caused major shrinkage and major frizz.

 

I washed my hair on day 6 and prepared for a protective style, but if I would have kept my hair in state then I probably would have had to go to a puff the next day. After I encounter major frizz like above, the style doesn’t usually last much longer. Also, I have started to put flat twists along my edges because I am trying to grow them back from the tightness of braids and other styles. I’m not sure if that will help, but we will see!

 

 

-Muffy

 

*remember to Trust the Process.

Talent Tuesday: Joy Chanel Poetry…and more 

So, as my first post for 2016 I thought there was no better way to start off than to highlight someone else!

Often times in life we find people who just completely blow us away with their talent or fight. Well, my cousin, Joy Chanel is blessed to be equipped with both: talent and fight.

She leads a team for breast cancer awareness named “Diva’s fighting Boobie Traps”, writes poetry, offers encouraging words almost every morning, has a heart for helping teenage girls and, last but not least, she is a SUPERIOR decorator/party planner!

Here are some examples of her work/inspiration:

As you can see, she is VERY talented and has her hands in a few different creative pots:)

Go ahead and follow her on IG for morning inspiration and to find more of her work! @JOYCHANELPOETRY

Also, if you’re in the Atlanta area, book her for your party needs! You will not be disappointed by her creativity!


 

Love you and the work that you do, cuz! Continue to be an inspiration to all who come in contact with you! Cannot wait to see how your brand grows. xoxo

 

-Muffy

*Remember to trust the Process

Twenny fih-teen…in review 

So, as I sit here and reflect on my year I can’t help but to thank God. Here’s why:

I was trying to think of at least one thing I have accomplished in these past 365 1/4 days that just made me really proud. Everything that I named or thought of just didn’t do it for me. I’ve stated a few of the below.

– I completed a bachelors degree…barely. It wasn’t conferred until December because one class tried to stop me from being great! To say the least, I was ashamed and disappointed.

– That one class threw me off so I never applied for nursing school…….AGAIN! You know, I have yet to apply to nursing school. I have been saying that I’ve wanted to be a nurse since my junior year in high school. I have everything lined up and ready. What is seriously holding me back?!!

– Along the same track, I am not the best at standardized tests so this entrance exam for nursing is kicking my butt. As a result, I figured out that I couldn’t do it on my own. I finally sat down and got some real and consistent help, but Jesus take the wheel (And the test for me if you can)! Though I didn’t get where I needed to be, I did end up improving! 

– For me and my sisters, this year will make a full year of consistently paying bills, keeping food in the fridge and not burning the house down. All of this without seriously asking for help from my mother. Don’t judge us. I know we’re grown! 

– I started a blog! Yes, on the surface this seems great, but I’m starting to feel like only my family reads it. I think this might just be turning into a public diary.lol. It’s good because I’m not a great writer so I’m stepping out of comfort zone, but honestly, where is this going? 

– I was involved in one of the worst relationships I have ever been in during my 22 years of living. As a result, I was able to rekindle a relationship with one of the best ever! Ended up Making up with someone who makes me feel whole in all of my brokenness. Also made up with my sista friends. Had a much needed re-revaluation of friendship.

– I took up yoga to combat my stress from school. Actually I took it to fulfill my last elective credit, but it ended up being one of the best things to happen to me all summer! 

– I decided to stop thinking about how broke I would be if I traveled here or there. Now, I didn’t go clear across the country and come back thinking that my hopes and dreams would pay the water bill. No. I like showers and clean dishes, I just learned to manage my money a little better so that I could actually live. 
Out of ALL of these things that would seem like major and/or minor accomplishments for others, I just didn’t feel like these things constituted a great year for me. Every good thing either came with something bad or a price tag (something I couldn’t afford). Then I had to stop my thinking and turn it into thanking. I realized that I was criticizing everything that God had for me. I came to the conclusion that If I were to be proud of just one thing this year it would be ME. Me as a whole.

I was stuck on all of the negative things that happened that I failed to see that God brought me through them all. I am still here because of his grace. Bills are paid because he is faithful. Relationships die or survive because he knows what’s best for me. I am not where I want to be, but where he wants me to be because his timing is perfect. Today, I am not the same Muff I was on January 1, 2015 and I am thankful for that. God decided to keep me and that is something to be proud of in itself! 

So, as I encourage you to do, I will take the good with the bad. Though this may have been a trial filled 365 1/4 days (down to the quarter) for you, you should reflect on the fact that you’re still here to reflect. Not everyone will make it into 2016 so be proud of yourself. Just remember, there is greater coming for you in 2016! Unless you cheated. Then there is just bad karma for you. If that applies to you, God bless you and good luck.

Anyways, I hope that everyone has a very safe and very fun New Year! Get ready for chapter 1 of 365! Make the rest of 2015 count while you can 🙂
– Muffy

*always remember to trust the process! 

  

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